Lounging in the Garden Gates with Claude Departoix

Hello, my name is Claude Departoix, a sophisticated individual living in the New Orleans area. I love to live in style, everything I do must have class about it. I only eat the smelliest of cheeses and drink the oldest wines I can find. This I do in my secret chamber in the secret area behind my fabulous mansion I call the Pirate’s Cove. The cove is decorated only by furniture that I purchase at The Garden Gates. They accept the gold doubloons which I pull out of my chest which is a plus. With my lavish fashion and my exciting looks they are the only currency that can keep up with me.

This is a Zen Frog

The sexiest part of my cove is the furniture, the Delano™ Outdoor Sofa with Coffee Table set is one of my favorites. We hang out and are fabulous while sitting on it, the coffee table is covered with maps, and jewelry, and even perhaps some candy we received as stocking stuffers. We frolic around over the weekends having a fantastic and wonderful time. Sometimes we just throw the furniture in the pool and order new ones. Otherwise we build a giant pile of wicker furniture in the swamps. We always purchase our new furniture from The Garden Gates. It is always outstanding.

Our New Orleans Christmas Tree in the cove is majestic. It’s a fraser fir and it is beautiful.  I get the biggest one they have at The Garden Gates which is 14 feet. They delivered it and everything. I decorated it with many of the finest ornaments they have at The Garden Gates. The Chubby Mystical Fairy, It comes with lights already on it. How wonderful is that?

In my wondrous garden I have many animal statues that mean  the world to me. My Totally Zen Frogs remind me to get into the zen zone every morning before I do my cosmic yoga. When I want to get into the bohemian grove zone I stand before my owl statues and raise a toast to the UFO masters of the world. The owls need something to eat, am I right? So that is what my post mouse statue is for. Every afternoon it gets devoured in a sacrifice only to be reborn the next morning. Do you think I am mad? Other statues I have are St. Francis of Assisi and the Lab Pup Garden Statue.

My long suffering yet some how delightful wife is only happy when I bring home jewelry for her. Otherwise she rages against the night, running in loin clothes howling at the moon. Her favorite items that I bring her are also from The Garden Gates. She wears cuffs by BG Jewels which she loves because it makes her feel like Wonder Woman. For earrings she prefers ones by Mary Louise Designs. She loves the Emerald Green Tear Drop ones, but I call them the Mark McGuire, Steve Hauschildt and John Elliot edition. My inside jokes are outrageous and only hilarious to myself, I understand this. Please do not remind me by posting a comment about my ignorance!

 

 

 

 

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