Aliens and Gardening

There was me, that is Steven, and my three droogs, that is Felix, Marc, and Jesse, as we tore through the Louisiana roads late that September evening. Felix knew of a place where he claimed that there were strange lights from military testing and we wanted to go check it out. Of course none of us thought that there was anything to it, but we found the idea exciting enough to hop  in our Durango and race along the high way. We noticed aligators walking upright across the road. They reminded me of the jewelry of India Stewart. These gators were fashion forward, and looked like they would make fantastic alligator cuff links. We all seemed to find it strange that alligators were walking upright but at the speed we were hurtling it could have been an illusion.

We stopped by the side of the road by a large group of Religious Statues, and we thought that was cool. Buddhas, St. Francis, they were all there. We had a moment of silence where we thought about the mysteries of life, and really enjoyed and focused on the moment of quiet contemplation. It was difficult to see beyond this grove for it was real country dark out there. No light pollution to create that eerie glow. You could look up to the sky and see the stars, thick and milky in the sky. You could only wonder what lives out there, where intergalactic horrors dwell.

Beside the road where we had pulled over we noticed some garden bird baths and a stand alone fountain. There seemed to be shadowy figures lurking around there, but we thought perhaps that was a trick of the eye. Marc got scared and insisted we move on. I think the others were afraid too. I wasn’t, because I kick so much ass, but whatever. I was anxious to move on to the military base.

As we raced along the highway I noticed statues on garden pedestals, statues of owls, of frogs, of cats, almost on guard. What were they guarding against we wondered? They seemed to move, but perhaps that was a trick of our lights as we drove past.

This area of Louisiana is famous for its many UFO sightings, some attribute it to the military, many are attributed to a local moonshine, but I know what I saw and I know what happened to us. First, a chubby mystical fairy flew over us, then a space ship landed in front of our car. Three aliens got out and approached our car. “Do not fear us,” they exclaimed. “We are only looking for directions to The Garden Gates of Metairie. We want to pick out a Christmas Tree for our homeworld of Zunar J-5. Do you know if they deliver?”

Oh, and they were all wearing Bob Marley hats.

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